When you think of the term “Mom Blog”, what comes to your mind? I personally think about a Mom writing about her experiences with raising her children. Perhaps it is about how to deal with small children and the daily challenges that arise. The variations are endless. Hoping to touch on a deeper level.
The world we live in is so much different than the one we grew up in. Kids are experiencing things so much earlier than we ever did as kids. I am sure you can agree with that.
Growing up to fast.
As a parent, my kids were dealing with issues that I believed (and still do) were not age appropriate. Cliques were forming in the third grade. I couldn’t help wondering where do these girls learn this behavior and whatever happened to just playing with Barbie or back then it was those Bratz Dolls…lol. Middle school brought new challenges and the hormones are in full force which fuels the emotions.
So I had to explain to my child that everyone sees things differently and not everyone is going to be your friend and that is okay. True friendships are hard to define at that age. They are experiencing Trust and Loyalty and not sure how to handle it. They are friends one day and not the next. Before you know it, they are dealing with adult issues that no one was prepared for.
What is being taught and accepted within the home?
For example, at a teachers conference once (middle school) I noticed a few police cars out in front of the school. Per my kid’s teacher, the police where there because a student has punched her in the face because she sent him to the office for disrupting her class repeatedly. Seriously? Last I checked that is considered assault. Not to mention, what happened to keep your hands to yourself. As we walked past the office to the doors to leave, the parents of this student were yelling at the police and school personnel. I never had behavior problems like this with my kids.
Later I learned that this child had been in trouble a lot. Sure, we all want to defend our children, spouse, family members. Accepting responsibility is not ageless. Wrong is wrong, regardless of who commits it.
A child is supposed to learn that actions have consequences and should be taught by parents and well before middle school. By this age, a child knows right from wrong as do the parents. How is a parent supposed to protect their kids when other parents weren’t doing it with their own children.
Have we really all changed over the years?
A recent comment that keeps rising to the surface is “We have all changed”. For some, definitely. Others, not even close. I know I have no control over this which is frustrating. I do my best to stay away from it and those individuals. When I do and am questioned about and if I am honest about it, the result leads to misunderstanding, denial or negative feelings on one or both sides.
Getting others to see your view on a topic is not easy, in fact almost always (in my life) is just impossible. Sure everyone has their view on the world on various topics. I am referring to taking personal ownership and accountability.
I do believe our children’s behavior can be a direct result of parenting or lack thereof. I also see adults not practicing what they preach. Passing the blame, playing the victim the list goes on. Any decisions you make at and after the age of 18 are on you. We cannot go through life blaming our parents for choices we made. I have to wonder how many of those parents who allow their children to behave badly still think this way.
There has to be a better way.
So now as the holidays are approaching, I keep hearing how some are concerned with going to visit family. They want to share in the celebrations but do not want to be part of the drama, attitudes, and comments that usually are included. I am well experienced in family situations especially during this time of the year.
After just celebrating Thanksgiving, should we not practice it all year so that these issues do not arise. When they do, deal with it responsibly. Don’t we owe it to our children/grandchildren to set an example?
Regardless of what the topic is, if both sides truly want to make it work, then an attempt should at least be made. It may not always work at first, but the common thread is a break down in communication. We all don’t have to agree. Getting only one shot at this life and arguing over things we have no control over is not how I want to waste my time, do you?
Your children and grandchildren are watching you more than you may think. Think back to a time when you heard or seen your parents and they didn’t know you were watching. How did that make you feel? I know I will never forget some of it. I never want my children to remember me like that. My kids hold me accountable just as I hold them accountable for their own actions or words. There is no age limit. Mine are all grown. Parenting never stops. We can do better!
After all, it starts at home and it starts with us!
Peace to you and yours!